fears....

i don't know if i have been thinking too much or other else.....

i have never fear of getting older as to my principle you learn thru your whole life and gaining experience. Thus, the older you are, the more knowledgeable you are. Thus, i never stop learning and reading as it's the greatest resource and assets.

My birthday is coming end of next month and i fear to turn 1-year-older. Not that i fear of having no partner to stand by me, as this is never been my priorities. i will treat is as nature goes by. It's also not the fear that i'm going to 30 soon in a few years. I found no big deal to turn 30 in today's society as long as you're happy with it.

my greatest fear is like i've been wasting my time as i have not done anything great in my life or have accomplished any amazing thing that i could be proud of or let my parents proud of me. I do not what i should do...

On the other hand, i felt that my memory is getting worse and worsen. My STMs is heavier. I am fear of getting older will reduce my memory capacity, efficiency, effectiveness, and creativity.

I think it's the surrounding suppress and lots of article as how the world and health is getting worse and people encountered so many new diseases. At 20s you could easily had a heart attack, senile dementia, parkinson's, alzhemeir, and etc.

Maybe i should start to worry-free and care-less in my mind and just enjoy whenever you can.